Off Base
Pitchers and Catchers Report, and Other February 14 News

February 14, 2008

Yeah, yeah; the sports headlines were a tad dreary this morning, Forgive me if I keep the who's-a-bigger-bleep-hole-between-Brian-McNamee-and-Roger-Clemens discussion to a minimum.

Two beautiful things occurred this Valentine's Day. You be the judge of the proper order. "Pitchers and catchers report." As harmonic an expression as there is in the language. Today was the day. We made it through another offseason. It was an excruciating one, to say the least, but we made it through.

Oh, then there's this. Are you sitting? I asked the Main Squeeze to marry me, and she said yes. The details shall remain private, but I will say this: I set the alarm and got up at an un-Godly hour, there was zero nakedness involved, and the Squeeze was surprised like you wouldn't believe. What was it Vinny said about Dennis Eckersley? "Shocked to his toes!"

Picking a date will be tricky. Dodgers on the road or at home? June or October. Wedding at home plate or in a luxury box? Register at Macy's or the Top of the Park? Invite Nomar and Mia only, and risk hurting Jeff Kent's feelings or throw caution to the wind?

These and other questions to be answered in short order. Stay tuned…

As promised, the Clemens slash McNamee thing gets as little space as possible. It doesn't matter which guy is the bigger schmuck. It really doesn't. Nor does it matter that Congress split along partly lines. That's truly bizarre, but unimportant.

Fittingly, last night's Seinfeld had Jerry taking advantage of his "access to one of the most deceitful, duplicitous, deceptive minds of our time," George, to beat a polygraph, thereby proving that he'd never seen "Melrose Place," which in reality, he had.

While hitting on a comely female police sergeant in one scene, Seinfeld points to the lie detector device, asking if a guilty subject's pants actually do catch fire.

Anyway.

Talkback: Your comments are always encouraged…

Media Savvy: If you haven't reached your own personal baseball/drugs/Congress critical mass, here's a great article by Yahoo Sports' Jonathan Littman, about Feds lead Balco investigator, Jeff Novitzky.

Curiously, today's Los Angeles Times piece by Dodgers beat reporter Dylan Hernandez included an over-200 word summary of team pitching, with not a syllable devoted to Chad Billingsley. Look, Grady Little is no longer present. Billingsley should not be overlooked again, by anyone, and Hernandez notwithstanding, won't be. Bills is as likely an ace as there is in Vero Beach today.

According to Rotoworld: "According to the Kansas City Star, Royals officials have indicated that Brett Tomko "must pitch his way out of the rotation." A Valentine's Day gift to me, no doubt, but this one is just too easy. Add your own punch-line…

Poli Sigh: Key overused words this campaign season include the following: surrogate, inroads, disenfranchised, Day One (or Day 1), and of course, super delegate. Thankfully, with the arrival of Spring Training, we can focus on the most overused phrases in baseball once again. Let's see if these resonate. We all have to be on the same page, strained oblique, five-tool player, intestinal fortitude, and it’s only May.

And I still say Bob Vila is a five-tool player…

Investors Wanted: BaseballSavvy.com is a growth enterprise. I’d say we’re looking for Angel investors, but that’s vulgar, and I promised my mother. Invest a thimble full of venture capital today; make major league minimum tomorrow. Inquire

Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues. Please Vote “Yes on 32.” And tell a friend…

Remember, glove conquers all….

 

 

 

 

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