Giants Miss Chance at Control, Slip Deeper Into Kaos

February 4 , 2007

And they were right there too. Oh, so close. You know, missed it by that much.

We suggested last week that by taking just the most recent of their many exit opportunities in the ongoing strife that is Barry Bonds baseball, the San Francisco Giants might very well have become America’s Team, heroes more powerful than anything mere television-makers can devise. But, as usual, Frisco failed to take the bull by the fog horns, and came out looking like losers. With a capital “L.”

But what the hell? It’s better this way, isn’t it? Bonds and the Giants belong together. Let them have their fifteenth year together without a World Championship; the franchise’s 53rd straight ring-less season.

Sure, the team can hold out hope that a bungling doctor, or Major League Baseball, or the Internal Revenue Service, or whichever criminal case comes first, can save them from themselves, but again, the word “losers” really does apply. If ever there was a cord that needed to be cut, it’s this one.

As reported by Jon Heyman and SI.com, Giants’ owner Peter Magowan actually felt compelled to explain his re-signing of Bonds in a personal letter to season ticket holders: "This decision was not taken lightly and we spent significant time evaluating all of the elements and circumstances surrounding the negotiations before we made a final determination to move forward."

I’m sorry, but “I’m sorry” doesn’t cut it.

Some people are destined to be remembered for one thing, and one thing only. History is funny that way. Bud Selig, no matter what else he may accomplish in life, will always be remembered as the guy who canceled the World Series. Always. Don Larsen will be forever hailed for the perfect game; Kirk Gibson, for a particular home run and the home run trot. The name Roberto Alomar, unfortunately, will always be associated with spitting; and Britney Spears, for leaving home without it.

Bonds, Balco, Borris, the San Francisco Giants, and their combined powers that be, real or enhanced; are forever linked. Good…

Talkback: Your comments are always encouraged…

Speaking of co-dependent baseball relationships, how ‘bout them Philadelphia Phillies, giving Brett Myers $25 million, in what appears to be the largest contract ever signed by a wife beater. And nice job by the Associated Press, which buried mention of the spousal abuse arrest seven paragraphs into a 10 paragraph story …

Trivia: Quick, besides Bonds, name another player, in any sport, represented by agent Jeff Borris.

A Little Football Note: I understand there’s a game of some consequence this afternoon. The Super Something-or-other. All it means to me these days is that we’re that much closer to pitchers and catchers and Kelly Wunsch reporting, but not Roger Clemens. The Main Squeeze suggested a “viewing party,” so we invited coupla people. We’ll have snacks, employ the DVR, and fast forward the game to get to the commercials.

And I still say Chavez Ravine is the best place for football in Los Angeles, by far…

Media Savvy: Another great best and worst of L.A. sports radio installment from BaseballSavvy.com favorite Tom Hoffarth of the Los Angeles Daily News. I don’t get Petros Papadakis' popularity particularly, but props to T.H.just the same. And if you haven’t been checking Tom’s blog, you should be…

Two First Names Watch: So Shannon Stewart is still out there, unemployed. Boggles the mind. Meanwhile, George Mitchell, no slouch in his political avocation, sure is when it comes to baseball. Perhaps when men like Mitchell think that just because they’re experienced statesmen and leaders in the real world, that they can jump into the world of baseball like its nothing, should think again.

Baseball is for the big boys. I mean, the really big boys. If you can’t stand the heat, pal. You don’t just switch politics for baseball, baseball for politics. Success in one assures nothing in the other. You need to know when you’re in way over your head. Way, way, way over your head…

More from Agent 86: Here’s one of the many political zingers delivered by Don Adams, in a 1965 episode of “Get Smart.”

Max: (inspecting a counterfeit dollar bill) “Looks real. Feels real. Even has a picture of President Goldwater on it.”

Chief: “Max, Goldwater lost the election by 18 million votes.”

Max: “Oh yes, I remember now. Missed it by that much.”

Is it just me or does this old Groucho Marx line apply perfectly to Curt Schilling? "Say! You haven't stopped talking since we got here! You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.”

Trivia Answer: Got me. I’ve never seen Jeff Borris’ name associated with anyone other than Barry Bonds. I did, however, make note of this memorable statement from Mr. Borris, about Bonds: “This is a guy for whom a statue should be erected and a street named after him.''

Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues. Please Vote “Yes on 32.” And tell a friend…

More Word Association: Phoebe Cates…

Remember, glove conquers all….

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