All Bonds All the Time

February 11, 2007

There’s just not enough Barry Bonds around nowadays. Hardly anyone ever talks about the guy anymore, and that’s a shame. A crying shame.

So, ESPN’s “Bonds on Bonds” show wasn’t the ratings bonanza “Bonanza” was. There’s more competition today. You’ve got to give the public time to come on over; 18 months at the outside. I say it’s high time some enterprising young media outlet gave Bonds another try.

I, and several of my close personal friends, are ready for high concept baseball this spring. No, not video games. We're not children. Something fresh and upbeat. And there’s nothing like Barry Bonds in February to bring a smile to the baseball-starved fan like me. How I made it through the offseason I’ll never know. It seemed longer than ever this year.

Anyway, we need Bonds. More Bonds. Much more Bonds. Bonds in the club house, Bonds and his outfield mates chasing fly balls, all at the same middle-aged speed. Bonds sipping chowder at Fisherman’s Wharf, Bonds riding the cable cars. Bonds and Bruce Bochy bonding. All Bonds, all the time. For this, we need an all Bonds network, Bonds 24-7. Like say, the All Bonds Channel. You know, ABC...

Pitchers and catchers and Joe Mays report Friday…

Talkback: Your comments are always encouraged…

Dodgers Season Tickets Available: BaseballSavvy.com is splitting up its season ticket package as we speak. Excellent loge level location, two face price tickets per game. It’s a 1/8 share, which is every eighth game, for a total of ten. Will go fast. Contact me directly to join the ticket partnership…

Best in Show, My Foot: Or, paw. Whatever. While the Westminster Dog Show is just halfway through the two-day competition at press time, I’ve already resigned myself to the inevitable. The winner will be the lamest, the dweebiest, the gayest little thing in the building…if you don’t count the groomers.

Look, I freely admit I’m a dog snob; a dog racist, a dogist, if you will; but can you blame me? The German Shepherd Dog has won the Westminster a grand total of once in exactly 100 years. Do the math. It’s a fait accompli (French, for "the Germans are coming").

Clearly, the GSD is the best dog in the world. Anyone who argues differently is begging for an ankle and butt shaving, and I know just the place. Besides, do you really want the Bichon Frise or the Kerry Blue Terrier leading the blind? Alas, if only the show were held at Dodger Stadium. Can’t you just hear the chant now? “GSD! GSD!! GSD!!!”

Media Savvy: Hey, check out my new blog. It’s for a great non-profit publication down south, the VoiceofSanDiego.org. I hear you already, so save the jokes, please. Yeah, yeah, “whatever they’re paying you can’t possibly be enough to get you to follow the Padres on a regular basis.” Very funny. But please visit, and tell a friend…

SI.com’s Jon Heyman, in a recent article about Alex Rodriguez, offered these musings:

“The man who's the most talented player in the game today has been accused of a lot of things during his surprisingly rocky (that's rocky with a small "r'') first three seasons in New York.” The most talented player in the game today? OK.

“[After 2007, A-Rod] can remain a Yankee for the $72 million that's coming to him on his original record-shattering $252 million, 10-year deal. Or he can leverage his opt-out clause for even greater riches. I say he takes door No. 2. But he does it while staying with the Yankees. It's way early, yes, but my best guess as to what will happen is that Rodriguez will receive a fat extension from New York.” Now class, anyone, how many things are wrong with that statement?

“Maybe I'm naïve, but I do believe that Rodriguez means it when he says he loves playing in New York.” Bingo. The man is naïve…

Shaikin All Over: Nice piece on Troy Percival, by Bill Shaikin in yesterday’s Los Angeles Times, and another one in today's paper about Negro Leaguer Bill Greason. Shake is one my writing heroes over at Times Mirror Square (Tim Brown, now at Yahoo Sports, was the other one), and if Journalist Randy is going to assign the man to actual baseball work, instead of the Anaheim legal blotter only, L.A. is in for a treat in 2007…

Hank Bauer: Last February, I received a nice note from a reader about a chance meeting he’d had in Chicago with a couple old ball players. Exactly a year to the day later, Hank Bauer passed away. Courtesy of Stuart Siegal, here’s the story:

Thursday [February 9, 2006], while at O'Hare Airport on a business trip, I was sitting next to two older gentlemen. One was easily identifiable, as he looked exactly like he did when he played. The easily identifiable one was Bill (Moose) Skowron. I was embarrassed that I didn’t recognize his partner in travel, Hank Bauer.

After first chickening out about saying hello, I sat down opposite them, with the intention of listening to their conversation, to see if I had guessed correctly. It wasn’t necessary though, as each was wearing a World Series ring.

Finally, I piped up: 'Excuse me, are you Moose Skowron?' to which he answered, 'No, that’s my brother,' before quickly admitting it was him. Moose saved me some embarrassment by introducing Bauer. We spent the next 20 minutes talking, and they were just wonderful in their story telling. I felt like a 13 year old kid.

They were flying to Hartford, and heading to the Mohican Casino, where they were meeting their friend, Don Zimmer. They intended to play the horses together. Bill mentioned that he makes $2 bets and that “Zim” bets $100 a pop. I asked him why Zimmer left his job coaching with the Yankees. Moose said: 'He was nuts. He was paid a lot of money to sit next to Torre and talk about horses, and he walked away from it.' Skowron said, had he been in that position, he would have done anything Steinbrenner told him to do to keep the job.

Hank Bauer was more reserved than Moose, but always with a smiling face. They had such pride in what they had done in baseball, it was real evident.”

Valentine’s Day: I don’t get why it’s all on the man, but I guess it’s a problem I’m better off with, like having four good outfielders. The Main Squeeze gave little clue of what this year’s present should be (outside of a ring, of course) but this much was communicated emphatically: THE VERMONT TEDDY BEAR SUCKS! I HATE THE VERMONT TEDDY BEAR!!! Any woman worth her salt hates the Vermont Teddy Bear, and all it represents. Come within a mile of me with that retarded gift idea and we’re toast!! You hear me? Toast!!!” So apparently, if I understand the woman correctly, the Vermont Teddy Bear is out…

Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues. Please Vote “Yes on 32.” And tell a friend…

Remember, glove conquers all….

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