A Weighty Issue

April 14, 2008

Well, that didn't take long now, did it? The first guy to go on record with the obligatory Andruw Jones "isn't hitting his weight" line is, drum roll please, none other than T.J. Simers.

Simers did manage an ever-so-clever skew of his own, however, adding the words "even half" to the cliché. Because apparently, Jones isn't hitting even half his weight. An oh-fer Monday and he'll be hitting half Juan Pierre's weight. Get it?

Look, Andruw Jones is an easy target. There's a lot of him, after all. Yeah, yeah; that's an obvious line too. I just smacked myself upside the head for even contemplating the sentence, much less uttering it publicly.

Surely "fat tub of goo" is next for every last Dodgers slash Braves slash David Letterman fan out there, so we might as well get that out of the way right now. And yes, one can make a case for Jones perhaps representing Terry Forster-revisited.

Similarities exist. Both Forster and Jones were prominent Georgia-based ball players, both debuted at 19, both high-priced Dodgers with questionable credentials, and both infamous for their girth.

Forster however, had his best years in Los Angeles, and was quite the hitter. Like, say, .397 lifetime. No typo. That's .397 lifetime, with a grand total of nine strikeouts in 78 career at bats. Jones has 14 in 40 ABs so far in 2008.

With the tying run in scoring position and two gone in the ninth Sunday, I couldn't help but wonder whether Joe Torre or Andruw Jones was praying harder for Russell Martin to either homer or make the final out. Martin flied to center to end the game, sparing Torre from having to decide about pinch-hitting for Jones.

Of course, Torre had just used Kemp to run for James Loney at second, so there's your indication of the skipper's thinking. I mean, Torre wasn't going to throw Chin-Lung Hu up there to bat for Andruw, was he? Hong-Chih Kuo, left-hander and hitting 1.000 on the season maybe, but Hu, no…

Talkback: Your comments are always encouraged…

Raise your hand if before the Dodgers had their final tally of 11 runs Saturday, you knew, you just knew they were coming back weak on Sunday, lucky to score even a couple. Now raise your other hand if you think the Dodgers are just plain weak, generally, and have already resigned yourself to a very long year…

Media Savvy: Yes, it's early. Like, duh. We know it's early, OK, we know. Having the "it's early" argument, such as it is, thrown at us repeatedly is almost as annoying to as watching the Dodgers attempting to advance even so much as a millimeter with runners in scoring position.

Things could be worse. Like, Detroit Tigers-worse. And at least one writer, Michael Rosenberg, of the Detroit Free-Press, isn't all that concerned. If you care about the Tigers, and can stand a dose of "it's early," check it out.

I don't know about you, but I simply cannot watch the Masters with the sound on again ever. I just can't. With the sappy music, the tired references to "Azaleas at 16," and the lame poetic dialog from the CBS announcers, it's just unlistenable. Total and complete agony. And I still say the Tiger Slam is a breakfast at Denny's…

Famous ex-Dodgers: By way of an EBay baseball t-shirt search, I stumbled onto something called the "Mickey Owen Baseball School," and wondered if it was the Mickey Owen. Turns out it's one and the same, and the school's been around for fifty years.

With Bill Buckner being celebrated in Boston this past week, it's nice to know that a player can be remembered for more than just a single baseball going through the wickets.

No such mixed feelings with Buckner in Los Angeles, of course. Just fond memories of "Billy the Burglar" here, where Buckner is recalled for his exciting play in left field, after being moved from first base to accommodate Steve Garvey. And for being part of the Dodgers 1968 draft, which also produced Doyle Alexander, Garvey, Joe Ferguson, Tom Paciorek and Bobby Valentine. And for his .319, .314 and .301 in 1972, '74 and '76 respectively. And for being traded for Rick Monday in 1977.

Fine, some of us remember Buckner leading off the eighth of the final game of the 1974 World Series with a single, and getting nailed at third after an error by Bill North, his team down a run. But the Dodgers were going to lose that Series anyway…

Oh-Yo: The question is, can he sing?

Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues. Please Vote “Yes on 32.” And tell a friend…

Remember, glove conquers all….

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