Winners and Losers

Here's how this works. We'll start with some easy ones, to give you an idea.

Winners: The Anaheim Angels.

Losers: The San Francisco Giants.

Winners: Republicans.

Losers: Democrats.

Winners: The New York Mets, for firing Bobby Valentine.

Losers: Anyone else, for even considering the guy.

Losers: The Masters.

Got it? Good. Here's some more.

Winners: Dusty Baker, for bailing on Frisco.

Losers: Dusty Baker, for bailing on Frisco.

Losers: The Giants and Baker both, for not just admitting it was all about money.

Winners: The Chicago Cubs, for signing Dusty Baker.

Losers: The Cubs, because you overpaid and it wont matter anyway. You'll still suck.

Losers: The Giants, for letting Jeff Kent walk.

Winners: The Giants, for signing Felipe Alou. I guess.

Losers: The Giants, just in general.

Losers: Bud Selig, same thing.

Winners: The Philadelphia Phillies, for going after Jim Thome and Tom Glavine, and making an actual effort for a change.

Losers: The Mets, for thinking Glavine has three years and thirty-plus million dollars worth of stuff left.

Winners: The Atlanta Braves, for letting Glavine bail. It's time. Better a year too early, and all that.

Winners: Bill Stoneman.

Losers: Tony Taveras.

Winners: Mike Scioscia, for too many reasons to detail in this small space.

Winners: The Oakland A's, for keeping Billy Beane.

Losers: The Boston Red Sox, for losing Billy Beane.

Losers: Art Howe, because the man can't get a nice thing written about him on either side of the country. Except here.

Losers: The usually right on New York Yankees, for even allowing the rumor of their interest in Mike Hampton to circulate beyond some bizarre Halloween
night horror story.

Losers: The Florida Marlins, for actually going through with it. Are those guys clueless or what? Man, the state of Florida has become a wasteland for regular season baseball. Not quite as bad as Texas, but getting there.

Winners: The Colorado Rockies. Perhaps there's hope.

Losers: The Atlanta Braves, for even thinking about adding Hampton to their staff. Leo Mazzone can rock all he wants. Nothing can bring that guy back from oblivion.

Losers: Everyone else. Had Hampton ended up in the Bronx, we wouldn't have had to hear another word about his hitting again. Ever.

Winners: Pat Gillick and the Seattle Mariners, for landing Randy Winn, who plays a much better centerfield than Lou Piniella.

Losers: Lou Piniella. Do I really need to explain this one?

Winners: Randy Winn, big-time.

Losers: The Arizona Diamondbacks, for 86ing Damian Miller.

Winners: The Cubs, for adding him. A nice little start.

Winners: The sportswriters who voted this year, for absolutely nailing every single postseason award perfectly.

Losers: Every last one of you dweebs who tabbed Alex Rodriguez for AL MVP.

If you don't get it, I'm not going to convince you, but I'll waste a minute of my life trying.

Look, it's very clearly called "The Most Valuable Player Award," not "Player of the Year" or "Offensive Stud of the Year" or "The Wow, and He's a Shortstop Too of the Year Award."

The Texas Rangers benefited from A-Rod's presence, OK. Like, duh. So what.

Yes, they would have lost 100 without him and only lost 90 with him. Good for them.

Hes a great player, an unbelievable shortstop. He's just not the 2002 AL MVP.

Miguel Tejada is, and an absolute prototype MVP.

.308, 34 and 131 is plenty. A-Rod's extra 23 homers are nice, but RBIs are what really matter, and his additional 11 in that category aren't nearly enough to deprive Tejada, who won countless big games for the A's, with dramatic at bats, throughout the entire schedule.

By contrast, after Opening Day, A-Rod played a grand total of, uh, zero big games for the Rangers. Minute's up

Seen on Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles: an old Porsche 911 with a personalized license that read "CLMNTE." If only it had been a Pennsylvania plate...

Look-alikes: Jackie Autry and Randy Jones...

Pitchers and catchers report Valentine's Day...

There's still time to invest in BaseballSavvy.com before it's through the roof. Shoot, the BS merchandising is worth major league minimum all by itself...nearly. Investment inquires are more than welcome...

Remember, glove conquers all....