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Off Base

Top Ten Best Things to do While Waiting for the Dodgers to Hire a Manager

10. Start work on another Top Ten list, like say, the Top Ten Best Cities For Relocating the Florida Marlins. Make sure to include Montreal.

9. Re-energize efforts to make fun of Arte Moreno and his silly little Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim prepositional phrase franchise name. C’mon, tell me it’s not the lamest thing to come out of Orange County ever.

8. Subcategory, household. Remove every seat on the property. Replace with throwback chairs, designed to match the look and feel of the place as it was in 1962. Stop by Pittsburgh Paints for swatches. Special emphasis on pastels.

7. Vow to come up with a Top Ten list that’s funnier than this one.

6. Compile a list of Top Ten reasons why Jim Fregosi is singularly not the man to skipper the Dodgers, much less even be considered.

5. Watch a bunch of Lakers games. Be grateful the Dodgers aren’t them. It is Thanksgiving, after all.

4. Pic-N-Save a Florida Marlin near you. Start with Juan Pierre, a fine young centerfielder and member of the “Two-First-Names Baseball Players Club” (TFNBC), if ever there was one.

3. Speaking of Juan Pierre, what do you say we take the old “speed merchant” expression out for a spin again, huh. A little baseball double-entendre for your consideration.

2. Watch Drew Olson dwarf Matt Leinart’s numbers vs. the USC defense while the Trojan quarterback only has to go up against UCLA’s, and then watch the Bruin QB not be a top-five Heisman Trophy selection.

1. Give thanks for all that was good and fine about 2005, and mark your calendar for February, 2006. Only 83 days till pitchers, catchers and Jason Phillips report!!!

Rhetorical Question of the Week: Was Ned Colletti serious when, after meeting with Mr. Fregosi for 3 ½ hours (3 ½ hours!!), he said the following about the experience: "The people that I've got under consideration, I'm doing some more legwork on.”

Legwork? What legwork? 30 seconds of perusing Fregosi’s win-loss record ought to be more than enough time to exclude the guy. It’s not rocket science we’re talking about here. That was Paul DePodesta's job...

In Defense of DePodesta: Oh, lighten up. Like, this one time is going to kill you. Contrary to popular belief, the option-out clause in J.D. Drew’s contract is not a lose-lose proposition for the Dodgers. Actually, the opposite is true.

When in Drew’s life has he ever performed better or more often than he did in his 2004 walk season with Atlanta? Answer: never. 2006 is a J.D. Drew do-over, and the Dodgers have a chance to benefit. Then, assuming Drew is still motivated by the green stuff, some other team’ll get stuck with the guy. Probably the New York Mets…

Rhetorical Question of the Week, Part Deux: Just how exactly is Bud Black more qualified than Orel Hershiser to manage the Dodgers?

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Either props or denunciations go out to baseball writer Juan C. Rodriguez, of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, for coining the phrase, “Tommy John surgery survivor,” as in the following: “...right-hander and Tommy John surgery survivor Anibal Sanchez missed all of the 2003 season recovering...”

Talkback: Please send us your comments. If they’re reasonably coherent, we’ll post them uncensored for all the world to see…

As an example to all media outlets within the sound of the man’s voice, BaseballSavvy.com is hereby proclaimed to be a Dr. Phil-free zone. And you have one more thing to be thankful for this holiday-eve…

Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues, so please scroll down to the photo below and vote yes on 32…

Remember, glove conquers all….


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