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Off Base

Smoking in the Boys Room

July 26, 2005

If you missed Steve Mason and John Ireland’s marijuana vs. alcohol radio debate, consider yourself lucky.

Something about drinking and driving vs. smoking and driving. “Which is worse - you make the call!” They’re both high, if you ask me.

The name of the station’s been changed a few times so I’m not sure what they call it now, but it’s at 710 on the AM dial. John’s the one with the speech impediment. That’s how you tell them apart during the “Crossfire” segments, from which about all that’s missing is the periodic “Jane, you ignorant slut” remark.

By the way, “BS” stands for a lot of things. Blown save, Bud Selig, Boston sucks and Britney Spears. But first and foremost, BS proudly stands for BaseballSavvy.com. It’s our logo. We put it on a baseball cap, trademarked it, the whole nine yards.

One thing BS absolutely does not stand for is “The Big Show,” as Mason and Ireland would have you believe. That would be, if I’m not mistaken, TBS. Perhaps that’s available…

Hey, three cheers for Gary Sheffield and his “sobriety.” In fact, let’s toast to it. Whatever, good for Sheff. If he makes it, I think he should go into the Hall of Fame wearing a Milwaukee Brewers cap…

Two Dollar Tuesday = Manic Monday : Sat with a buddy in the press box, uh, I mean, the third row of the Reserve level for the Reds-Dodgers opener. Derek Lowe tossing a one-hitter wasn’t enough to occupy some of the faithful, and when the obligatory beach ball found its way to our row, my friend grabbed it and tucked in under his seat for the usher.

Only, the usher never materialized, and missing their toy, a bunch of brain surgeons several rows up started throwing things our way. “Narc, narc, narc,” they screamed, which was cool actually, because it sounded like my pal’s name, Mark.

There might have been some alcohol involved up there. Ya think?.

Ten minutes go by. No hits for the Reds but a pile of debris for section 15. No usher, no security, nothing. Finally, a customer across the aisle made the trek to wherever the men in blue happened to be and gave them a clue as to what might be going on in their precinct…

Rumors : Can’t tell you the source, but I heard that the Dodgers are in serious discussions with a division rival, poised to trade Cesar Izturis, Brad Penny and Eric Gagne for Hee Seop Choi’s twin brother, Ozzie…

Back by Popular Demand : Man, did you guys dig the Randy Johnson line from last week or what? So here it is again:

How about that Yanks-Angels match-up the other night, huh? The Big Unit vs. Colon. Sounds like a trip to the urologist and the proctologist, along with some rather painful examinations…

Hockey? Angels? Tour de France? Don’t care…

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Investors Wanted : This is the time, people. I bleep you not. We’ve got big plans for the sprawling BaseballSavvy.com campus in Canoga Park. Luxury suites, ringing scoreboards, new freeway exits and a condominium complex to die for. Invest a thimble full of venture capital today, make major league minimum tomorrow...

Statue for Sandy : The Koufax in bronze campaign continues, so please scroll down to the photo below and vote yes on 32…

Remember, glove conquers all….



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