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The French Are Toast,
Sure, now that Major League Baseball hears it from its own panel, now they
think, maybe we should ex the Expos. Hey guys, if you'll recall,
BaseballSavvy.com said it first.
The French are toast remember. Off with their heads remember. Let them eat
cake already. Let them eat fries with vinegar. See if I care. Just let them
eat in the clubhouses of 28 other teams.
Yeah, and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays should go too. Like, duh. That took a lot
of thought. Whose idea was the Tampa Bay Devil Rays anyway? The Tampa Bay
Devil Rays exist for no other reason than to acquire players that other teams
want, and then get new players in exchange for them down the line, with the
hope of trading them later too.
Reminds me of Apple Records v. Apple Computer. What was it the Apple Computer
lawyer said in that lawsuit? Apple Records hasn't done squat since the
Beatles did "Get Back" on top of that building (yes, they passed the
audition). They don't conduct any actual business. All they do is sue Mac.
That's what they're there for.
Wouldn't it be great if Wade Boggs went into the Hall of Fame in the uniform
of a team with no numbers to retire?
Yes, two less teams is a good idea. Real competition for the 700 real
baseball jobs is a good idea. 22 less minor league pitchers throwing in the
majors is a good idea, a really really good idea. Letting teams salivate over
the entire Montreal minor league system is a good idea. Don't just tell me
about it. Show it to me....
But let's dust off those misty water-colored memories one last time first,
why don't we. Jarry Park, that funky p.a. guy they had, bellowing out the
names of guys we'd never recall otherwise. "John...Boc-a-BELL-a." A national
anthem we actually had to practice in school, "Le Grande Orange," the ABA
caps, lots and lots of really bad teams. All that....
Bud Selig keeps talking about a "wonderful renaissance" going on in baseball.
There's no renaissance in baseball. Selig made that up. 1998 helped because
two guys hit baseballs a long way, but there's no renaissance in baseball.
It's Bud Selig who's enjoying a renaissance, one he doesn't deserve.
For some reason, Jim Rome likes Bud Selig now. Why, I don't know. And Rome
usually gets it right. In the good old days of three or four years ago when
he called Selig names almost daily, Rome got it right.
Everything Selig does in his life and in his career from now on and for the
last few years is his way of making up for 1994, and there's no blanking way
he can ever make up for 1994. Canceling the World Series was his baby, and it
should forever be his legacy. If he keeps Pete Rose banned indefinitely,
fine, he can have two legacies. I'm cool with that. But there's no
renaissance in baseball, trust me. Bud Selig made it up. There's no
renaissance in baseball....
Mike Piazza is the best hitter in the sport. We'll argue about that another
time. The prospect of Piazza playing only nine or ten years because of the
normal wear and tear of catching is scary enough, but it would really be a
shame if he lost even one season because of concussions. It's not beyond the
realm, not with this latest one at the plate. At least Steve Young had a full
career, accomplishing just about everything there was for him to accomplish.
Give Mike a shot at first base in 2001. John Olerud would have been a tough
act to follow, but Todd Zeile? That infield is dropping like flies anyway, so
there's no better time....
Joe Torre is the Lee J. Cobb of baseball. He looked 45 at 30 and he looks 45
at 60. Check it out. He looks exactly the same now as he did on his 1965
Topps card....
Now that some clown has paid over a million bucks for a Honus Wagner baseball
card, and since Tony Gwynn is not going to win another batting title this
year, and those are the only two times it comes up, let's review, shall we.
It's Honus Wagner, OK? "Ha-nus" Wagner. Rhymes with "on-us," not "own-us."
Honus Wagner. Honus freaking Wagner....
In about half the time since the last Dodger post-season victory, the Florida
Marlins have been born, built into a World Champion, dismantled, tinkered
with, and built back into a pretty respectable group of young ball players,
one that might be right there next year. They might even win more games than
L.A. this year....
Whatdaya say, can't we just arrest everyone who does the wave, or at least
detain the guy who starts one for questioning? Forget those hooligans at
Wrigley. Wave-starting is the real crime.... .
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