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Off Base
Le French Guy's Toast

January 18, 2006

Gagne’s a Goner.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. You can start the countdown to Eric’s L.A. au revoir right not. Toute suite.

Like it or not, the Dodgers acquisition of Danys Baez means two things, and two things only.

One, Danys replaces Dennys Reyes as the most recent Dodger with a plural for a first name. And two, Monsieur Gagne will be closing games elsewhere in 2007.

If he’s closing them like he used to, anyway. Because if Gagne comes back strong this year, like say with anywhere near 50 saves, the Dodgers will let him become a free agent, rather than spring for that $12 million option. You can bet your French derriere on that.

If however, Gagne struggles with his health, the club might buy out the contract and bring him back at a lower salary. In other words, if you dig Eric Gagne, you lose if you win and you win if you lose. It’s as simple as un, deux, twois…

Our Oprah Moment: Yep, BaseballSavvy.com is the talk show diva's favorite baseball website, and she's recommended the publication to her fans. Must be because everything posted here is absolute fact. Incontrovertible...

Blatant Commercial Plug: Since the baseball writing gig doesn’t feed the bulldog particularly, I’ve started moonlighting as a web developer. Yeah, you heard me, I’m designing websites for the likes of you, and for dirt cheap too.

Not only do you get incredibly cool flash sites for un-Godly low fees, you get your bleeping copywriting edited by the one and only moi, and for free at that.

Moreover, I’ve partnered with a French web dude. The man can communicate with Eric Gagne in his native tongue and everything. Like, can you? Here’s our bleeping portfolio . Hire anyone else to create your web presence and you’re just plain lame…

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day: The Kobe and Shaq kiss-and-make-up game was a nice why-can’t-we-all-get-along example of the holiday spirit, but for something a bit more thought-provoking, check out the man’s writings. No, not Mr. O’Neil’s!!

Dr. King authored several fine books, including two you’ve heard about but perhaps not read: “I Have a Dream” and “Why Can’t We Wait.” Lesser known but still a great read is MLK’s first book, “Stride Toward Freedom: The Montgomery Story.” A good library will should have it, but if you’d like a copy as a collector’s item, get it at abebooks.com.

More NBA: Doug Collins loves the “screen roll.” It’s screen roll this, screen roll that, here a screen roll, there a screen roll, everywhere a screen roll, screen roll. The screen roll sounds like a Chinese finger food to me. Dip it in plum sauce, or perhaps hot mustard, and voila.

Reminds me of the old Laker riddle: “What is Wilt Chamberlain’s favorite food?” Why, the finger roll, of course. And the follow up: “What is Rick Roberson’s favorite food?” Personal foul…

No Where Man: Highlights of the first ten days of the City of Anaheim v. the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim include evidence of the considered use of the name, the Anaheim Gargoyles, and the exclamation by a prospective female juror that Arte Moreno is “so good looking.”

This is where I draw the line, OK. Enough already. The retarded team name is one thing, but Arte Moreno is good looking?!! Please. The man is not even remotely good looking. He’s a total boob. Cheesy mustaches like Moreno’s might be acceptable in Orange County, or may have been decades ago, but this is L.A., lady. Get Lasik, already. The man is not good looking…

The World Baseball Classic is an exercise in the uninteresting. I mean, who cares what country a player represents, for which he wasn’t born within 3000 miles of?

The Verdict is in: BaseballSavvy.com’s readers don’t think Steve Garvey belongs in the Hall of Fame.

Conclusion: BaseballSavvy.com’s readers aren’t as smart as they were previously thought to be…

Speaking of the Hall of Fame, the long sought after battery of Alan Embree and Doug Mirabelli is finally a reality in San Diego…

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Talkback: Go ahead, rip us a new one. Comments.

On the Mend: Old friend Dave Gleason continues to rehab faster than J.D. Drew. Like, there's a shocker. That's Gleason below, with personal strength coach, Mariano Duncan.



Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues, so please scroll back to the upper right panel of this page and vote yes on 32. 2006 is the year…

Remember, glove conquers all….



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