May 19, 2005

You think you’re better than me?! You think you’re better than me?!!

Well, yes! If you’re gonna pressure me, yes!! Bleep yes, we’re better than you!!!

The Los Angeles Dodgers are better than the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. In this town, emphasis on the this, you bet they are. Better, truer and finer. The genuine article.

Resistance is futile. You might as well just sit back and enjoy it.

I love ya, Bill Plaschke, but you’re way, way, way off base on this one.

There’s nothing “immature” about the way the Dodgers have handled the LAA of A thing. Nothing at all. Grow a sense of humor, will you?

Rather than making a fuss and crying to the commissioner, or even the courts, the Dodgers put an “ANA” on the scoreboard. BFD. It’s funny, and it’s called one-upsmanship.

“The Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles” gear thing is cool too. Not as cool as my “No Angels” t-shirts, which grace the chests of the entire Loge 149 on most nights, but pretty damn cool.

Dissing the Angels is a noble thing to do. To complement the club’s efforts, I’ve made it my life’s work. Well, my six months work, anyway.

That said, the Dodgers have been carrying an awful lot of dead weight lately, and Paul DePodesta needs to get on his horse.

The young g.m. showed a little ingenuity in discarding Jason Grabowski, OK, rule breaking, but whatever. Grabowski needs to go a ways to become a one-dimensional player. A long ways.

Jeff Weaver is in dire need of therapy. John Smoltz’ guy in the red shirt, perhaps.

D.J. Houlton is no where near Major League ready, especially not with the role he’s been given, and the 12 pitcher plan is lame. Either negotiate with Houston to keep D.J. in the organization, or let it go. Experiment over.

J.D. Drew? Man, I don’t know. He might work out, but in the meantime, lowering him two or three spots in the order wouldn’t be a waste of time.

And it’s a mistake to have Antonio Perez testing out a new position while trying to hit as a regular in the majors for the first time. Perez was supposed to take Jose Hernandez’ place and backup second and short and hit when called upon. That was enough of a challenge for a young player, and the team ought to pleased if he does that much.

Jose Valentin’s injury was a blessing, really, because it forced DePodesta to act sooner than he wanted to, “sooner” being the operative word. Placido Polanco makes perfect sense. Even in a bad year, he’d out hit Valentin by 75 points.

And we haven’t even touched on Oscar Robles and Scott Erickson. So the Dodgers have some work to do. They’re still team Los Angeles. “This is LA Baseball” is right. “It’s go time” is right…

Where have you gone, Barry Bondssio, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Or not…

Julio Franco may be older than half the guys waiting for a place on our “Where Are They Now” page, but the man is just unreal with the stick.

With a summary glance at his numbers, you’ll find that from 1984 to 1991, Franco posted batting averages of .286, .288, .306, .319, .303, .316, .296 and .341. He followed up a rare off year with a run of .289, .319 and .322. In Atlanta the past three years, Franco has hit .284, .294, and .304, at the ages of 43, 44 and 45. As of May 19, 2005, Franco has 2472 career hits and a lifetime average a dead even .300…

We’re stopping the balloting for “Baseball Name of the Year” right now. There’s no point continuing. The winner is Seattle reliever, J.J. Putz, hands down. I bleep you not. The man’s name is J.J. Putz…

What in the world is football’s Jimmy Johnson doing racing cars for a living???

Statue for Samantha: Now that the Dodgers are ensconced in Chavez Ravine until 2030, isn’t it about time to honor Sandy Koufax with that statue, already?

Salem, Massachusetts is unveiling a monument to Bewitched’s Samantha Stevens in June, for Darrin’s sake! When a fictional witch gets a statue in the colonies before our immortal lefty gets one in Los Angeles, a spell must be cast. Then of course, the bronze. And wasn’t Sandy’s curveball more wicked then Endora’s best pitch?

Not to be outdone by the Dodgers, rumor has it the Angels are countering with an eight foot sculpture of Bobby Knoop…

Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues, so please scroll down to the photo below and vote yes on 32…

Remember, glove conquers all….