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Off Base
As Fast as You Can Say Jack Robinson

November 16, 2005

Give or take.

So it took 18 days. BFD.

In Ned Colletti, the Dodgers have a better general manager than they did 19 days ago and they’ll have a better manager then they did 19 days before that in something less than another 19 days. Simple.

I would have preferred someone who’d been an actual g.m. before, instead of an assistant, but as far as assistants go, Colletti is as good as the next guy, or girl, as the case may be. And at least he was an assistant to an employed g.m.

The promoting of Kim Ng might have been an equally significant hire, but the Dodgers already have a new and high-ranking female executive in Camille Johnson to complement Mrs. McCourt, and when it comes right down to it, the Dodgers would hate to be the first club to fire a female g.m. at some point down the line.

Look, we’re in uncharted political correctness waters here, and it’s appropriate to be sensitive, but the Ng – Jackie Robinson comparison is apt only up to a point.

Sure, it might be time for a woman to direct the player personnel side of a sports franchise. It just might. But Kim Ng is an assistant with no experience at the next level. Jackie Robinson was a one in million talent who was among the best his sport had to offer from the second he stepped onto the field. Before he stepped on the field.

Colletti will be fine. It doesn’t matter how long it took, it really doesn’t matter that he was a San Franciscan, and it really really really doesn’t matter that John Hart chose to stay in Fort Worth or wherever the bleep those losers play their baseball games. John Hart is Larry Brown, without the rings.

While we’re on the subject of rings, a National League Championship ring is not a ring. We’ll excuse Mr. Colletti for wearing his Giants consolation prize this one time, but in general, second place rings are not worn in Los Angeles. In San Francisco, when that’s the best you can do in half a century, fine, knock yourself out. Show off the jewelry, low carat though it may be.

Again, while we’re on the subject of rings, when Colletti says he wants a manager who can “win the last game of the season,” he’s not talking about Dusty Baker or Jim Fregosi. Please. When did Dusty Baker or Jim Fregosi ever win the last game of the season? He’s talking about Mike Scioscia and Bob Brenly…

Memo to Earth’s Sports Writers: It’s time to ease up on the McCourts now. Enough already. We get it, OK. You can talk about their respective egos till you’re Dodger blue in the face, but the owners are going to allow the baseball people do the baseball jobs for the foreseeable future. They’re not going to repeat the various mistakes of the first two years. Let’s move forward.

At the very least, columnists, how about something other than the obligatory “dysfunctional” to describe the state of affairs at Chavez Ravine. Consult a thesaurus, and you’ll find the following.

abortive, bootless, counterproductive, disadvantageous, dysfunctional, expendable, feckless, fruitless, futile, good-for-nothing, hopeless, idle, impracticable, impractical, incompetent, ineffective, ineffectual, inept, inoperative, inutile, meaningless, no good, nonfunctional, pointless, profitless, purposeless, scrap, stupid, unavailable, unavailing, unfunctional, unproductive, unprofitable, unpurposed, unusable, unworkable, vain, valueless, waste, weak, worthless…

Good for Elmer Dessens. I guess…

Steroid Zone: Please check out our remodeled Steroid Zone. Our plan is to feature players as they get busted, and until then we’ll have some fun with the previously suspended and the merely suspected. Enjoy...

Investors Wanted: Invest a thimble full of venture capital today, make major league minimum tomorrow…

Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues, so please scroll down to the photo below and vote yes on 32…

Remember, glove conquers all….




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