January 24, 2005

TJ Simers' Home Number

Not so fast. I’m gonna milk this for the publicity first. But stay tuned.

For now, call the Los Angeles Times main switchboard, (213) 237-5000, and ask for TJ. He handles his own calls and would love to hear from you.

Sure, you can email him, tj.simers@latimes.com, but isn’t the telephone more personal? (213) 237-5000. Ask for TJ.

The two absolute constants in L.A. media are John Ireland’s speech impediment and TJ Simers’ trying too hard to be obnoxious, when the real trick is to be naturally obnoxious. Ireland’s ailment has the easier cure…

Looks like the Dodgers revamped their players’ roster better than they did the broadcasters. Five guys is two too many. Vin Scully, Charlie Steiner and Steve Lyons are great. Three is enough.

Al Downing doing color with Steiner is tolerable, and I can probably stomach Rick Monday with Steiner if pressed, but please, Al Downing and Rick Monday in a room together, both with access to a live mike?

Al and Rick are fine ex-Dodgers, but neither speaks the English language, usually a requirement in American broadcasting. Downing will use the word “venue” instead of “place” just to sound clever and still hasn’t gotten over the Aaron homer. Monday adds syllables to words for no apparent reason and couldn’t finish a sentence to save his life.

BTW, my old school had a speech therapist named Mrs. Sevennens. If you couldn’t pronounce her name, they put you in her class. I swear…

So Sam Fuller’s “The Big Red One” has been digitally re-something-or-othered, recut, and is now playing at the Nuart. Explain to me why exactly, and the ticket’s on me…

Rest in peace, Johnny….

Virgil Hilts