Prognosticate This

Tim Kurkjian and Peter Gammons represented ESPN. Special attention was paid to those two guys. A couple broadcasters named “Brick,” among others attended, Keith Olbermann, since he went to Cornell after all, and a few earthquake scientists who forecast doom for no apparent reason.

My old school chum B. E. Warburton was there, still not comprehending the illness exemplified by his Jeff Weaver single digit wins prediction, and who compounded matters by calling for Weaver to be “rocked in the playoffs.”

Eyes fixed upon the picture of our Queso Grande Exhaulted Mystic Ruler, John Banner, aka “Sgt. Schultz,” we repeated ten times in unison, “I know no-thing! I know nuu-thingg!! I know absolutely nuuu-tthhiinnggg!!!”

We agreed to a man to speak publicly through this column, to admit that when it comes right down to it, we all know diddly about the pennant races, and in particular have no clue about the postseason. No one does. Except for our members in Las Vegas. Those guys are the best and the brightest we agreed, and not a one of us volunteered to tell them otherwise.

We shared, we passed the hat. We spoke of strength in numbers, we consoled the rookies, and instead of the Lord’s Prayer, closed with a recitation of the Infield Fly Rule…

Lookalikes: Keith Hernandez and John Stossel…

What’s considerably lamer than the chair throwing of Frank Francisco is the national commentary about the incident. The consensus? Frank Francisco was wrong to throw that chair into the stands. It was bad. Like, duh. Thank you very much for the brilliant take. And you know what else sucks? Pollution, poverty, rising gas prices, hurricanes, malfunctioning parking meters and saturated fat…

David Ross has replaced Juan Castro as the worst non-pitching hitter in L.A. Dodger history, albeit over a shorter period of time. He’s also as likely to be a World Series hero as Alex Rodriguez, Pedro Martinez or Barry Bonds…

We all love Vin Scully and indulge him when he gushes over a smiling, pigtailed, Dodger blue-eyed cutiepie. But c’mon, deep down in your darkest recesses, don’t you wonder even for a second if Vinny secretly hates kids…

Looks as if Odalis Perez is going to have to get hot to pass Bert Blyleven for that no-decisions record…

Rick Mondayism of the Week: Regarding Adrian Beltre, seconds after a recent home run: “You get the feeling this is an incredible season.”

With Arte Moreno throwing in the towel and replacing his all-SoCal marketing campaign with the oh-so-catchy slogan, “from Anaheim Hills to Redondo,” the Angels have rightly conceded all points north, east and west to the Dodgers…

In his 1979 book, “The Making Of A Hitter,” Jim Lefebvre concludes with the acronym D-O-D-G-E-R-S this way: “…the pride that comes with accepting what they stand for – Dignity, Organization, Discipline, God, Energy, Responsibility, and Spirit. This pride is the foundation for Dodger motivation, Dodger loyalty, and the royal blue that symbolizes that loyalty.” Way to go, Frenchy.

The text is filled with hitting do’s and don’ts, and is highlighted by a two-page spread, diagramming and explaining what Lefebvre points to as “STRONG” and “WEAK” batting stances, in big bold letters. Compared and contrasted are Steve Garvey and Rance Mullinicks…

Statue for Sandy: BaseballSavvy.com continues to track your positive responses with the dream of casting Sandy Koufax in bronze at Dodger Stadium next year. The project has momentum and prominent support. If you haven’t yet, please scroll down to the photo below, and do your thing. Vote Yes on 32…

Remember, glove conquers all….