Off Base
The San Francisco Giants: America's Team

January 22, 2007

What, the New Orleans Saints? American’s Team? Please. Bunch of losers.

The San Francisco Giants are America’s Team. Or, at least they could be. They’re this close. The Giants are just a quick contract-burning step away from the Promised Land; public relations nirvana the likes of which no sports franchise has ever seen.

All it’ll take is the way, way, way overdue adiosing of Barry Bonds; a coming together of one tiny spec of sulfur and a single, solitary, unsigned piece of paper. Can you imagine the good will that would be generated by just plain ending the sickest co-dependent relationship in baseball history?

No, of course you can’t, because it’s unprecedented, so indulge me.

With one felled swoop, the San Francisco Giants would gain the admiration of fans from 29 cities (perhaps 30), the back-slapping of every living Hall of Famer, a big sigh of gratitude from the several hundred baseball writers not currently on drugs themselves, kudos from Congress, and the widest smile imaginable from the commissioner and his merry men of baseball.

Ding, dong, the witch is dead. It’s that simple. C’mon Frisco. Do the right thing, for once in your sorry, half-a-century with zero World Championships life. You’ll never have a better opportunity. Just cut the cord already, and bask in the p.r. glory that awaits you. Bonds is the witch. See that little bay over there. Just grab a bucket of water, and heave.

And to the various columnists and media outlets (Rotoworld, for one) who conclude that the Giants can't trash Bonds' contract because the positive amphetamine result was leaked improperly, I say go to law school and pass the freaking bar exam before you start playing Atticus Finch. It's an unsigned contract. The club can do anything it very well pleases. They just need to go for it...

Talkback: Your comments are always encouraged…

Shameless Plug: Like, there’s another kind? Look, it's to everyone's benefit that I mention this. Fine, it's to my benefit mostly. Whatever. Hear-yee, hear-yee. From the people who gave you BaseballSavvy.com, now open for business is a full-service web development firm, CoolFlashDesigns.com.

Everything you need, and damn good stuff. And as I always say, if you like what you see there, tell a friend. If you don't like what you see there, tell two friends. Your patronage helps pay our writers peanuts....sometimes Cracker Jack. That's CoolFlashDesigns.com.

Media Savvy: Thanks to BaseballSavvy.com favorite Tim Brown, of Yahoo Sports, for clearing up the hair thing:

“First of all, it's not a Nazi haircut. It's a flattop. And it seemed like a good idea at the time. I began to rethink it when Tim Flannery, then the third-base coach for the San Diego Padres, took a long look and said, ‘Let me guess, you're stumping for Roger Maris to go to the Hall?’

I told him no, it was my personal salute to Grace Jones.”

And thanks to Paul Olden, now of KNX Sports, for sending along this cool Santa Anita story:

“Here's a photo I took [January 18] at Santa Anita. The 7th and feature race was called, “The Willie Davis 3 Dog,” in honor of Willie D. He, Lou Johnson and Tommy Davis were there, along with Mike Brito. The hunch bet of the day in the field was the number 3 horse, named Seasons, owned by Burt Bacharach and trained by a guy named Drysdale (Neil).”

I don’t understand the brouhaha over the MLB Extra Innings package being handed to DirecTV. What’s the big deal? Jeez people, just switch providers, or move if you have to. Priorities, please…

Championship Sunday: Once again, Championship Sunday proved to be the best non-baseball sports day of the year (OK, the first game sucked, but the nightcap was a winner, wasn’t it?). And as usual, the Super Bowl will pale in comparison to its sport's semi-final, be thoroughly manufactured, and be inferior to the World Series in every way possible.

But we’d like to applaud CBS, and Phil Simms in particular, for their fine work on Sunday. Oh, and we appreciate the appropriate selection of Jim Plunkett to present the AFC Championship trophy. This is where the NFL has it solid over MLB, who for some unknown reason trots out (no horse jokes please) Jackie Autry to deliver the American League deally…

Two First Names Watch: Can anyone tell me why Shannon Stewart is still unsigned? Just you watch. Whoever gets Stewart will benefit from an impact season from their fourth outfielder and possible starter in 2007, the kind of difference-maker a team like the Dodgers could have used. Certainly a better choice than 40-year old Luis Gonzalez…

Pitchers and catchers and Joey Eischen report February 16…

Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues. Please Vote “Yes on 32.” And tell a friend…

Remember, glove conquers all….

 

 

 

 

 

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