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Off Base
This Oughta Clinch It

May 12, 2005

This is a one-time political endorsement. Just this once and we’ll get out of your face forever. And when we say one time only, we mean one time only.

We used genuine profanity in this space just the one time, with your forgiveness and understanding that we keep our promise never to curse again in a public forum, and we’ve stayed clean to this day. You cut us some slack because the article was about Pete Rose, and we kept your trust.

Antonio Villaraigosa for Los Angeles Mayor. It’s time to elect him, and with this endorsement, it’s surely a lock.

This isn’t about red and blue sections of the city, OK. Don’t even go there. To guess my party affiliation is to guess wrong, unless you’re guessing I like to party. In major elections, if I say anything at all, I make fun of both sides. Oohh, there’s a tough job.

In the L.A. mayoral primary, I clamped my lips tight as a drum. I knew Bob Hertzberg was a total boob, but the mouth stayed shut. And he was the only guy I ruled out from the start. Fine, if you must know, Hertzberg was behind the Valley succession campaign, and you just don’t break up one of world’s great cities. Then of course, since he couldn’t take his ball home and play with it…oh never mind. Trust me, he’s a boob.

Endorsing Villaraigosa is about a lot of important things, but for the sake of this argument, let’s stick to sports. Much as you might not want it to be, big-time professional sports is a big-time part of a mayor’s job, and Villaraigosa has got to be better than the last two guys.

Richard Riordan let two football teams split. Two. James Hahn did actually attract a baseball team, but it plays its entire schedule in another county, for God’s sake!! If you want the Mighty Carson Football Players, by all means, knock yourself out, vote for Hahn. Otherwise, the choice is clear. Antonio Villaraigosa for Mayor. Vote early and vote often…

In other news, it’s exciting to see King Tut getting some pub again, if for no other reason than to conjure memories of Steve Martin’s SNL bit…

I’m starting to believe in Hee-Seop Choi a little. Cautiously, as a hitter. Mike Sweeney would be a treat in a month, but I can wait. And Placido Polonco is a good one-year fix at third. Totally. Make the move right now…

If you can name a better right-handed hitter in a quarter century of baseball than Albert Pujols, go for it. In fact, go back another decade if you like …

Prediction : Kevin Brown will sign a modest contract, by anyone’s standards, with Atlanta in 2006 and win ten games under Leo Mazzone…

As much as I enjoy the current failings of the San Francisco Giants, it’s painful to watch their managers abuse the precious resource that is Jason Schmidt year after year after year. Looks like Felipe Alou will not rest until he’s turned Schmidt into Bret Saberhagen…

Billy Mays is a five-tool player. Oh, and Willie Mays too…

What in the world has gotten into Shea Hillenbrand? Yes, it’s only May, but Shea Hillenbrand!?

Cubs Considerations : “Wrigley Field's Last World Series” is a thoughtful new book by Charles N. Billington, from Lake Claremont Press. And check out Q M Enterprises clever Curse T-Shirts on eBay ...

For the record : BaseballSavvy.com executives approached Gary Coleman about a job covering the Dodgers for us, but the former child actor took an assignment reporting on the Michael Jackson trial for All Comedy Radio instead. There’s no accounting for taste…

Investors Still Welcome : As customers learn how much cooler our gear is than Von Dutch’s (that’s “VD” for short, you know), our signature “BS” baseball caps are flying off the shelves. I’d use the term “angel investor,” but that’s vulgar and I promised, remember. Let’s just say that investment opportunities still exist, but your window of opportunity for a major league minimum deal is closing…

On the occasion of the main squeeze’s birthday, we ventured to Houston’s, in Pasadena. In the men’s room, beautifully presented, eye-level in front of all three urinals on flat screens, the Dodgers vs. Washington. Coolest bathroom ever. The game went to commercial when I made my entrance, so I lingered. When the young lady required a tissue a couple of innings later, I mean, later during the meal, I gallantly responded…

Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues, so please scroll down to the photo below and vote yes on 32…

Remember, glove conquers all…

 

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