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Off Base
The Definition of Insanity

September 22, 2005

Where I come from, the definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing, over and over, expecting different results. And yeah, where I come from the topic comes up quite a bit.

What do you expect? We’re 152 games into an L.A. baseball season from hell.

The organization that experienced Darren Dreifort, just wasted millions on J.D. Drew, Odalis Perez and Brad Penny, but is content to let Jeff Weaver walk. Since Weaver never misses a start it only stands to reason. Now the g.m. who admitted he was surprised by last winter’s free agent pitching market is preparing to make it an annual thing.

Experience matters.

In Fred Claire, Tom Lasorda, Kevin Malone, Dan Evans and Paul DePodesta, the Dodgers are in the midst of a consecutive first-time general managers streak of almost two decades. That’s six years longer than Lou Gehrig. In Bill Russell, Glenn Hoffman, Dave Johnson and Jim Tracy, on the other hand, no such distinction exists, because contrary to what was in evidence at the time, Johnson actually had managed before.

Here’s what Dictionary.com has to say about the word insanity:

“Unsoundness of mind sufficient in the judgment of a civil court to render a person unfit to maintain a contractual or other legal relationship or to warrant commitment to a mental health facility.”

“In most criminal jurisdictions, a degree of mental malfunctioning sufficient to relieve the accused of legal responsibility for the act committed.”

There you go. Paul DePodesta’s own little personal insanity defense, tailor-made like a Guzman to Perez to Choi double-play ball. DePodesta’s simply not responsible for his actions. How can he be? I mean, just look at them…

Even taking Rick Monday completely out of the equation, Dodgers spokespeople are laying in an awful lot of fat ones for us to make fun of lately. You know how Vinny likes to let the roar of the crowd tell the story? With classic quotes coming from the Dodgers as much as they do, we could almost run a weekly column of just the quotes, with no commentary whatsoever. But since that would be even more boring than our regular stuff, here is just a sampling:

From marketing director Drew McCourt. “We are thrilled to team up with KROQ to host a concert for our fans featuring The All-American Rejects. The concert is another example of our ongoing efforts to provide unique entertainment experiences for Dodger fans."

That’s what he said, “…unique entertainment experiences.” The baseball has certainly been unique; I'll give you that.

From DePodesta, following the July 31 trading deadline:

"You always want to improve yourself, but I feel we've added players in the last eight days that have done that. We feel we're much better now."

The players? Milton Bradley, Jose Valentin and Jonathan Broxton…

Award time: Well actually, no it’s not. The final week will decide the MVPs in particular, so hold your pujolses. The National League Cy Young Award is a lock, however, in Chris Carpenter. We can also establish that Ozzie Guillen is not a Manager of the Year. And a designated hitter can win the MVP…

Here’s what Los Angeles Daily News columnist Tom Hoffarth had to say about a certain female Indy car driver, followed by my response:

"And whenever you hear that Danica Patrick is on the pole, do you instinctively reach for your wallet for spare singles?"

I reach for a condom, and then say, "thank you, God."

Good Will Hunting: Each week in this space, we post at least one suggestion to the Dodgers brass. Easy to achieve steps the club can take to get back in our good graces. Click here to chime in.

This week’s suggestion: When Jim Tracy opts for greener or perhaps more stable pastures in Cincinnati or Pittsburgh, what do ya say we bring in Orel Hershiser to manage his old club…

Rest in piece, Donn. You were a major part of a miracle. Thanks for letting us all in on it…

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Statue for Sandy : The Koufax in bronze campaign continues, so please scroll down to the photo below and vote yes on 32…

Remember, glove conquers all….


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