Not Your Fathers Whiz Kids
Here I am, all set to give the kid-in-a-candy-store Philadelphia Phillies a big pile of grief for their new ways, when along comes Tom Glavine to screw up the plan.
There I was, all set to compare this years Phils to last years Mets, when the Queens team goes and screws up the plan, proving flat out that only this years Mets can be last years Mets.
You want Tom Glavine, Mets, you can have him. Knock yourselves out. Ya think hes gonna win 60 or 70 games pitching at age 37 and 38 and 39 and 40, then by all means, throw cash at the guy. Hes still got a good glove, used to be a hockey player, he wont spill a drop.
Forget what he just did in the playoffs. Doesnt matter. He wont be needed in October playing for you clowns
It would be nice if baseball could grasp the free agency concept already. Its been three decades.
The object of free agency isnt to reward a player for a job well done for someone else. Paying a man a ton of money because of what he just did, or what he used to do is not a blueprint for success in this arena.
The idea is to guess smartly, and get a guy just before he has his best years, before being the operative word. No one ever does it, but thats the idea. Jim Thome, maybe. Tom Glavine, not a chance.
As for Philly, who knows? It might work out. New ballpark and all. Pat Burrell might turn into the superstar that Bobby Abreu didnt, and Marlon Anderson and Robert Person might not be missed, and Jim Thome might be a stud and David Bell might take off after a nice postseason.
Maybe Thome will lose 50 points batting in the National League but hit a bunch of homers like Greg Vaughn and only get booed at home half the time. Or maybe hell blow out a knee on the Vets ugly old turf before playing a game in the new place. And perhaps David Bell will go back to being David Bell.
By the way, its interesting how a guy like Bell can bang home a near career-best 70 and hes a god, while someone like Eric Karros drops down to 70 and hes head cheese
And our beloved Dodgers? Ah yes, the Dodgers. Well, Karros had to leave sometime, and this is as good a time as any. I guess.
He was gracious, they were gracious, theres a job for him to return to and probably a bobble-head night next season, and everyone was all nice and lovey-dovey. Fine, whatever. The moneys freed up. Next.
Mark Grudzielanek was a good little player but not really a winner. Perfect for the Cubs. If ever there was a non-power hitting second basemen so completely clueless as a situational hitter, with absolutely no desire to improve, its this guy.
Grudz also wanted to manage the team, and theres no room for that BS anymore, anywhere, and certainly not in Los Angeles. Six mill entitles you to six mill and whatever playing time the skipper decides. Nothing more. End of discussion. Shut the puck up.
So, losing Karros and Grudzielanek, not a problem. Getting Todd Hundley, problem. Serious problem. Big, hairy, swingin, blanking problem.
Randy Hundley maybe, but Todd?
Forget the money for a second. Todd Hundley isnt half the backup catcher Chad Kreuter is, which is saying something, and not as good as David Ross or whatever PCLer the Dodgers might give a shot to. Not even close.
Cant catch, cant throw, cant run, cant hit for average or power with any reliability at this point in his career, cant even really hit the ball with any reliability at this point in his career. I guess Todd Hundley is what youd call a no-tool player.
Rumor was, the Dodgers tried to restructure his contract. Restructure his contract!!!!???? Restructure his freaking contract!!!!!!?????? Are you on drugs? How in the world are you gonna restructure Todd Hundleys contract?
Ill tell you how. Heres how. This is how you restructure Todd Hundleys contract. A dollar a year, for twelve and a half million years. Got that? A buck a season, till the year 12,502,002
A moment of silence please, for Dave McNally. You are remembered fondly. Thank you
Sorry to see Andy Benes retire again. But its refreshing to see a player leave early, rather than take another big contract, which is certainly still out there for him
Seen on Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles: an old Porsche 911 with a personalized license that read CLMNTE. If only it had been a Pennsylvania plate
Look-alikes: Jackie Autry and Randy Jones
Martha Stewart is a five-tool player
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