June 30, 2005

With the trade deadline fast approaching, looks like it’s about time for Kenny Rogers to request a trade away from a contender. And it’s a shame too, because he’s just so much fun in the spotlight.

And sure, it seems like baseball’s Mr. Rogers predated television’s Mr. Rogers by a generation, but Kenny beat Fred by a mere four years.

And while perhaps we shouldn’t have expected little Kenny Rogers to have developed an attention span without constant supervision, we thought he might apply himself to the lessons pertinent to him at least.

Don’t fret, lil’ Kenny. I went to Mr. Rogers website and reviewed the curriculum for you. Condensed it and took out all the big words. Shall I cut your French toast into sections too? Your homework is as follows.

Open your workbook to Mr. Rogers “Brave & Strong” section, read aloud, and complete the study questions following the chapter entitled, “Everybody’s Special.”

And I don’t think a couple minutes with the “Rules and Self-Control” category would be a waste of time. In particular, “Mad Feelings” and “When Things Get Broken” are worth a little peek-a-boo. Then, get a note from mom excusing you from that sore subject, photography, and we’ll forget all about the incident at recess…

Good for Craig Biggio. Now he can put that awesome HBP stat at the top of his resume, replacing the .198 and the whopping six RBI standards he set for a postseason career.

This is Texas baseball, people. Well, this is Texas major league baseball, anyway. The Longhorns are exemplary, so we’ll skip them. But man, are the alleged Lone Star bigs a disaster or what. The state should just give up baseball entirely.

With Bidge and Bag’s leadership, the Astros actually won a series last October. That earthquake upped the combined Astros - Rangers postseason series record to, drum roll please, an oh-so-lovely 1-10...

Talkback: If you like what you see here, tell a friend. If you don't like what you see here, tell two friends. And let us have it!! Letters to the Editor.

Gary Sheffield's not exactly Curt Flood, is he?

Dig this. Bleeping Baseball-Links.com (yes, they use a hyphen), in its infinite wisdom, has determined that BaseballSavvy.com is not a Dodgers-themed site. They must know better than I, after all, since I only run the bleeping place.

Whatever. They’re mean, they eat sandwiches on white bread exclusively, and wear black sox at the beach. But in deference to their decree, I’ll limit my Dodgers-themed comments to four paragraphs this week.

“It’s Not My Bleeping Fault. Campanis is the Bleeping Guy:” Among the most mind-boggling of Paul DePodesta’s 2005 behaviors concerns this bizarre belief that he can’t make a deal until the trading deadline.

Fine, be that way. DePo traded five guys away from a first place team last year, so I figure he owes us five this time. Nothing less than the best third baseman conceivable will do. Eric Chavez or Adrian Beltre, for example. Don’t tell me it can be done. You're not Fred Claire; it can be done.

Next, move Antonio Perez to second, Jeff Kent to first and Hee Seop Choi to an Appalachian League team near you. Danys Baez or a reasonable facsimile, an outfielder and two veteran bench men and you’re good to go...

Dick Tracy : Case you missed it, the Dodgers skipper had this to say after losing 12 of 15: “ Tonight obviously was not one of our better nights…It was one of the few times, either in a win or a loss, when we didn't play a solid baseball game in the last couple weeks.” Nothing about the wild card though, so at least there’s that...

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Saw this note in the transactions: “ Ismael Valdez (leg) is expected to throw batting practice on Friday.” That’s funny. I thought that’s what he’s been doing for years…

What If : What if the Dodgers hadn’t traded Dave Roberts to the Boston Red Sox…

Statue for Ismael: Just kidding...

Let’s forget ball player anger management for a second. Something really has to be done about those GoToMyPC.com commercials. It took some doing, but GoToMyPC.com has actually replaced the Vermont Teddy Bear as the most obnoxious advertiser on Earth. Oh, go to your own pc already. Or add a hyphen. Do some bleeping thing…

And can we stop with the bleeping hockey song in baseball parks, please…

Statue for Sandy : The Koufax in bronze campaign continues, so please scroll down to the photo below and vote yes on 32…

A Happy and Healthy July 4 to All : And little Kenny Rogers, you be careful now, ya hear. No playing with matches. Fireworks ain’t your friend…

Remember, glove conquers all….