The topic isn't going away any time soon, so forgive me. You know, exit Expos, addition by subtraction, or contraction as they call it now. All that. I've said it before, I'll say it again.

The French are toast, remember? Off with their heads, remember? Let them eat cake already. Let them eat fries with vinegar. See if I care.

It's time for the Expos to say, uh, adios. Put it this way: French mustard yes, French baseball no.

And while you're at it, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays should go too. Like, duh. That took a lot of thought. Whose idea was the Tampa Bay Devil Rays anyway?

Tell me it wouldn't be unbelievably cool for Wade Boggs to go into the Hall of Fame in the uniform of a team with no numbers to retire.

I can't work out the logistics for you (and neither can Mr. Selig, I'm quite sure), and of course, Mr. Fehr will never go for it, but baseball does not have enough talent in the pool to fill 30 rosters. It hasn't for awhile.

The difference between 700 players and 750 is, well, 50, but it's more than just that. It's an extra 22 pitchers or so to divide among 28 teams. Or, if you prefer, it's 22 less minor league pitchers throwing in the majors. That's major.

Leave Canada with one team. That's more than enough, eh. Leave Florida with one baseball team. They've got way too many sports teams anyway. Way too many. The state of Florida should be known simply for Spring Training, really good Cuban food, and really bad elections...

It's almost Hall of Fame time, which means Pete Rose has his travel plans made and is warming up for a good ole time. And so am I, my friends, so am I. Be afraid, be very afraid...

If the Dodgers have just one representative on the NL All-Star team, I'd rather it be Chan Ho Park or Paul Lo Duca than Shawn Green. Green is the guy, but if Jim Tracy won't take care of it, it's the only way Shawn's gonna get a day off. I'm not a big fan of consecutive games streaks. Cal was great, but even that one went on too long...

Introducing a new BS feature, the "Rhetorical Question of the Week." Let's try a non-sports one out first, just to give you an idea. Take "Star Trek," any series. It might go something like this: if dilithium crystals are so important, why don't they have, like, a storage compartment or an entire cargo bay full of the damn things, just in case?

OK, now here's your first baseball-oriented Q of the W: who will win the American League West? So it's a gimme. Next week's question will be harder...

Actually, this one is almost unanswerable. If we can send a man to the moon, can't someone please stop Leo Mazzone from all the rocking? You just wanna smack the guy. Stop already! I don't know, maybe when Coach realizes he's turned John Smoltz into Bret Saberhagen, maybe that'll do it...

Changed my mind. Bonds will not get the record. McGwire, Sosa and Maris are all safe...

Since practically no one has mentioned it, this Ichiro Suzuki guy, not a bad little player. You'd think someone would have said something...

Midseason award time. MVPs Gonzalez and Ramirez. Cys Schilling and Clemens. ROYs Pujols and Suzuki. Comebacks Burkett and Boone. Managers Baylor and Pinella...

Emmett from "Andy Griffith" is a five-tool player...

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Remember, glove conquers all....