All Bets Are Off
Listen, I've had just about enough of Pete Rose, OK. Enough.
What's needed is a press blackout on the subject. Not another word about a Rose reinstatement, not a peep about his getting into the Hall of Fame, nor a syllable even remotely invoking an image of a hand-wringing Bud Selig.
Rose and Selig, my friends, you're both losers. Give it a rest. Mike Schmidt and Joe Morgan, here's an idea: Take a cue from George Hendrick and give us a break already.
Look, I'm exasperated OK, there's no way around what's coming. All bets are off. I'm compelled, compelled mind you, compelled to express myself with profanity for the first time in the history of this publication.
Sure, it's the Internet and you can let it rip all you want, but for four freaking years, I've kept it clean. Until now. I'll just get this out of my system just this once and I promise, PG from now on.
What I'd really like to say is that Pete Rose is the biggest piece of shit in the history of baseball. That's what I'd prefer to say, that Rose is the biggest piece of shit in the history of baseball.
But to be fair, I don't really know if Pete Rose is the biggest piece of shit in the history of baseball. Not the entire history of baseball. I mean, what do I really know about the 1800s?
Just cause I live and breathe baseball and turned in a bunch of book reports on the subject in grade school and listened to Vinny from the cradle, I don't really know how bad a guy Ty Cobb was. Not really. They say he was bad guy, maybe even a bigger piece of shit than Pete Rose. Don't know. Wasn't there.
Let's give Rose the benefit of the doubt. Maybe just maybe Ty Cobb beats out Rose from 1869 to 1963 and is the biggest piece of shit in the history of baseball, covering a longer period of time. Perhaps that's the case.
Using that paradigm, Cobb wins. Less career base-knocks, but a bigger piece of shit, over a longer stretch of history. In this example anyway, for the sake of argument.
So Pete Rose is the biggest piece of shit in the history of baseball over about the last third of the 1900s and is a work in progress for the 21st Century. Let's go with that…
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