July 11, 2005

General Unnamed Manager: “What are my prospects?! What are my prospects??!! How can you ask me a question like that? What are my bleeping prospects? My prospects are playing baseball at Chavez Ravine, for bleep’s sake! Where on earth have you been?”

Baseball’s Inimitable God: “Uh, hello? I’m not on earth, my son. I’ve been looking down on you for months. And it’s not pretty. You’ve got some serious explaining to do, pal.”

GUM: “Oh shoot, my bad.”

BIG: “See, it is possible to admit your mistakes. Now, go apologize to the City of Los Angeles and we’ll see what we can do about fixing this mess you’ve created for those fine people.”

GUM: “OK, you’re right. Uh, City of Los Angeles but not Anaheim, um, I’m sorry. I screwed up the 2005 baseball season, big-time. It’s not the injuries, it’s me. It’s all my fault. I’m lame, and my computer has a virus. But not to make excuses. I’m just plain lame.”

BIG: “Yes you are son.”

GUM: “So, what are you gonna do about it?”

BIG: “And you were doing so much better there for a minute. Oh well, progress, not perfection. I see we’re looking at another miracle, here. First, Boston, Chicago’s been on me for I don’t know how long, and now Los Angeles again. Well, 17 years is a long time, I suppose. Give me the All-Star break and I’ll come up with something. In the meantime, I don’t think dusting up that resume would be a waste or your time…”

Anyway…

All-Star Festivities : With Hee-Seop Choi joining in the Detroit fun this week, I couldn’t help but wonder if it’s possible for a guy to strike out in the home run derby…

East Coast Bias in Reverse : New York Times’ Murray Chass, in his season-in-review column, said the following: “On the negative side, we give you the Yankees and the Minnesota Twins in the A.L., and the Florida Marlins, the Philadelphia Phillies and the Cubs in the N.L.” Wow. Now the Dodgers can’t even compete in an “on the negative side” discussion…

Who Goofed : ESPN Radio’s Dave Campbell, talking about the uniform number 99, said “I can’t remember anyone wearing it since Willie Crawford of the Dodgers.” Actually, Crawford wore number 27, so I guess Soup was confusing the late outfielder with Wayne Gretzky. Happens all the time…

And a great L.A. Times Viewpoint letter from Danny Lee of Studio City. “ Las Vegas: Whatever happens here, ends up in Dodger Stadium.” Great stuff Danny. You can write for BaseballSavvy.com anytime. We can pay you peanuts. Sometimes Cracker Jack…

Angels? Don’t care…

Statue for DePodesta : No matter the circumstances, it just stands there like a statue, doing nothing…

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Statue for Sandy : The Koufax in bronze campaign continues, so please scroll down to the photo below and vote yes on 32…

Remember, glove conquers all….