Ladies and Gentlemen: Your 2006 Los Angeles Dodgers
July 25, 2006
If you were thinking you might find solace here, think again.
That said, let me confess. I attended Tuesday night’s game between your 2006 Los Angeles Dodgers and the San Diego Padres of God knows who.
Forgive me, please. The only reason I showed up for what I knew would surely be loss number 12 out of 13, is that I had a buddy coming into town to visit “historic Dodger Stadium.” I swear, that’s the reason.
So yes, I did knowingly contribute to the club’s parking concession, and did thereby add to funds which I knew full well would, in the future, undoubtedly be spent unwisely or not spent at all. For that, I beg your forgiveness.
And so I played host, and was a damn good sport about it. Since I couldn’t promise quality baseball, an impressive pre-game beef dip was paramount. Philippe’s didn’t disappoint.
From there, I drove up Ord to Hill to Sunset to Elysian Park, with a pronunciation correction of “Elysian” for authenticity, and succeeded in explaining about how, while yes, it’s a longer walk to the turnstiles from parking lot 23, it’s a much easier exit after the game. I pointed to the spot where Sandy Koufax’s bronze statue will one day stand, should the club ever take me up on my plan to raise six figure dollars for charity, while at the same time building a long overdue monument to the greatest Los Angeles Dodger of all time.
Then the game started and it was all downhill from there. Russell Martin had the night off and Andre Ethier drew the collar, so I couldn’t show off the lone bright spots. Kenny Lofton didn’t misjudge the first fly ball hit his way, so that prediction went south in a hurry, and not a single Dodger was thrown out stealing third for no apparent reason.
If it wasn’t for Danys Baez putting the game out of reach in the ninth, and right on cue I might add, my entire account of the 2006 Los Angeles Dodgers would have been a total loss.
After the game, I called another pal of mine, an admitted Cubs fan, and asked him point blank: “How in the world do you take all the losing, year after year after year!!??”
Cubs Fan: (Laughing) “Oh, c’mon. It’s only been 18 years for you Dodger fans. I’ve got ties that old. I can do 18 years standing on my head? 18 years? You call that suffering? Please.”
Me: “You’re a big help.”
CF: “Look, you’ve got to develop a sense of humor about these things.”
Me: “Well, that’s out, clearly. What else you got?”
CF: “Silver lining?”
Me: “Never occurred to me. Is there one?”
CF: “Odalis Perez is outta here. Does that help?”
Me: “Not really.”
CF: “You’re tying my hands here. You asked for my assistance. You want it or not?”
CF: “You can't top this: J.D. Drew’s contract expires in three years. You’ve got that to look forward to.”
And with a rosy 2010 to contemplate, I surrendered to the more experienced loser, and called it a night…
Talkback: Your comments are always encouraged…
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