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2004 Predictions
This is just too easy. Like taking candy from a Barry,
uh, baby.
Here are some of the things that are almost certain to happen in the year
2004, probably:
No postseason for the New York Yankees… George Steinbrenner will
mutter or scream something stupid and Joe Torre will retire…
Alex Rodriguez will play forty games at shortstop…
George Steinbrenner will mutter or scream something stupid and fire
Brian Cashman…
Pedro Martinez’ numbers will be dwarfed by Curt Schilling’s,
who’ll replace him as the Boston ace…
Larry Lucchino will become part owner of a team looking for a new stadium
deal…
Back-to-back Cy Young Awards for Roy Halladay…
Lou Piniella will be a force his second year in Tampa, and the Rays
will surge to a record of 72-90…
A major leaguer will return late from the All-Star break, delayed by
visa problems…
Prominent, big-contract-after-career-year-free-agent bust: Javy Lopez…
The Seattle Mariners will play in the postseason. Alex Rodriguez will
not…
The American League East will finish this way: Red Sox, Yankees, Blue
Jays, Orioles, Devil Rays...
As usual, the World Series will be a better, truer, more spontaneous
event than the Super Bowl, with actual crowd shots of real fans, but
the commercials won’t be nearly as good…
For the first time, a Series game will be played in November…
Paul Molitor will turn down an offer to manage. Chris Chambliss will
not get one…
The Minnesota Twins will be baseball’s first team to clinch…
AL Central: Twins, Royals, Tigers, Indians, White Sox...
John Hart will come dangerously close to a deal for an ace in July,
not make one, and then sign an old guy in time for Christmas...
It'll be close, but "five-tool player" will continue to reign
as the most overused phrase in the sports lexicon. These gems will be
right there: "we all have to be on the same page," "anything
can happen in a short series," “back in the day,” "intestinal
fortitude," and my personal favorite, "it’s only May."
A Gold Glove Award winner will lead his position in errors…
Jamie Moyer will be called ”crafty” more times than any
lefty since John Tudor. Not a single right-handed pitcher will be referred
to as crafty by anyone, anywhere…
Rich Aurilia will play in the postseason. The San Francisco Giants
will not…
AL MVP: Garret Anderson…
The Texas Rangers will approach .500 with Michael Young at shortstop,
and build for the future…
AL West: Mariners, Angels (Wild Card), A’s, Rangers...
Mike Piazza to Los Angeles…
The Expos will draw more fans in 20-plus San Juan dates than they will
in their Montreal games, and the relocation will be put off a year…
The Atlanta Braves miss the playoffs. All fifty states celebrate, including
Georgia...
National League East: Phils, Expos, Marlins, Braves, Mets…
Houston will bounce back again, and win the division. Jeff Bagwell and
Craig Biggio will improve in the post season, combining to hit almost
.200. The Astros will benefit, and win a game...
We won’t hear about it, but a mega-star will test positive for
steroids…
The All-Star Game will almost certainly not end in a tie, probably…
NL MVP: Albert Pujols…
Pete Rose will be in our face during Hall of Fame weekend. Fewer will
listen…
Barry Larkin will miss fifty games...
NL Central: Astros, Cubs (Wild Card), Pirates, Reds, Brewers...
Rockies’ GM Dan O'Dowd will drop out of the Executive of the Year
discussion earlier than ever thought possible, when it's discovered
that none of his "revamping" can ever make a difference in
Colorado…
Prominent, big-contract-after-career-year-in-Colorado-doesn’t-really-count-free-agent
bust: Jay Payton…
Phil Nevin to the American League...
Kevin Towers will complain about something. Curt Schilling, too many
luxury boxes, Dodgers’ character, ex-Dodgers-now-Padres’
character, the Border Patrol, smog from Los Angeles, something…
Blister problems and missed starts for Ismael Valdes…
Kevin Kennedy will be considered, but Orel Hershiser will manage the
Dodgers…
NL Cy Young: Odalis Perez…
No trade rumors involve Adrian Beltre this time; just concerns about
his next contract. Beltre’s numbers: .285, 25 and 90…
Todd Hundley and Jeff Weaver will be just as likely to face each other
as they are to appear in the same battery together…
NL West: Dodgers, Padres, Diamondbacks, Rockies, Giants…
Remember, glove conquers all.…
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