Or so. There might be less. You do the math.

Anyway. Here are approximately 2000 things that are bound to happen in 2001. Probably:

It will be a down year for American League shortstops. Derek will do some DL time, Nomar already is, and Arod will, uh, adjust. The Seattle Mariners will play in the post season. Alex Rodriguez will not...

Drew Henson will conjure images of John Elway, in baseball. Wasn't gonna happen in the other sport. The Yankees like football players. Deion was there for awhile, and of course, John Elway was a project too. It was about Elway that a scout once said, and I'm paraphrasing, "He has such a good arm (duh), he can nail a runner going first to third on a single to right with a football..."

Chuck Knoblauch will be demoted, disabled, traded or released...

Pete Rose will be in our face during Hall of Fame weekend...

Bud Selig will spend the entire summer talking about a "wonderful renaissance" going on in baseball. He'll take credit for it. He'll be wrong...

The American League East will finish this way: Yankees, Blue Jays, Red Sox, Orioles, Devil Rays....

No designated hitters will win Gold Gloves this year, but at least one award winner will lead his position in errors...

Roberto Alomar will get a break from his spitting incident reminderers, and finally win an MVP Award...

John Hart will come dangerously close to a deal for an ace in July, not make one, and then sign an old guy in time for Christmas...

AL Central: White Sox, Indians, Royals, Tigers, Twins....

Mo Vaughn will be traded to Boston...

Billy Beane will be creative, spend more money than expected, and the A's will take the division. Now, if a tree fell in Oakland-Alameda...

It'll be close, but "Five-Tool Player" will be the most overused cliche in sports yet again. These gems will be right there: "good to go," "we all have to be on the same page," "anything can happen in a short series," "from the get-go," "intestinal fortitude," and my personal favorite, "you do the math."

Literally hundreds of players, play-by-play guys, and color men will refer to a just completed game as "tonight," even though it was a day game...

ESPN and Fox guys will continue to mispronounce the name of one of baseball's greatest players, Honus Wagner. Pay attention class, hear me now, once and for all. I'm not gonna repeat this later (OK, I probably will). It's HA-nus Wagner. Honus freaking Wagner! Rhymes with On-us, not Own-us...

Keith Olbermann will be among the Honus hackers, but will be the only national anchor to consistently and correctly use the singular term, "RBI," instead of the plural. BaseballSavvy.com will consistently and incorrectly use the term "RBIs," just because...

AL West: A's, Mariners (Wild Card), Rangers, Angels....

The Atlanta Braves will miss the post season. America will celebrate. John Rocker will save 35 games, be generally clueless, but catch a break because the media will be too busy harping on David Wells about his stomach to care...

Jane Fonda will get to see a playoff game in person again this year, in Los Angeles...

Mike Piazza will play some first base. He's the best hitter in baseball, after all. It's time. He'll also be a top-five finisher in the NL MVP race...

National League East: Mets, Braves, Marlins, Expos, Phillies....

Houston will bounce back to take the Wild Card. Jeff Bagwell and Craig Biggio will improve in the post season, combining to hit almost .200. The Astros will benefit, and win a game...

Barry Larkin will miss 50 games, easy...

New ballparks will make a difference for the home team, in Pittsburgh, but not in Milwaukee, which is as it should be...

The Seattle Mariners will play in the post season. Ken Griffey, Jr. will not...

Rick Ankiel will be demoted, disabled, traded or released...

Mark McGwire will finally win an MVP award...

NL Central: Cardinals, Astros (Wild Card), Pirates, Reds, Brewers, Cubs....

Rockies G.M. Dan O'Dowd will drop out of the Executive of the Year discussion even earlier this year, when it's discovered that none of his so called "revamping" can ever make a difference in Colorado. Mike Hampton will regret going to Coors, and bust up a bathroom or two, but will be thankful his kids are in those great Denver schools...

In a town where Randy Jones is a revered former player, Phil Nevin will be the most interviewed Padre. Tony Gwynn will hit .300, in 200 at bats...

Kevin Malone will acquire an ex-Expo or ex-Oriole...

Did I mention that the Seattle Mariners will play in the post season? Randy Johnson will not...

NL West: Dodgers, Giants, Diamondbacks, Padres, Rockies....
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